How are babies and the elderly similar?
They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
What is the similarity between women and freezers?
We like to put our meat in them.
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
What is the similarity between an anti-joke and a clown? Neither are funny.
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.
Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?
Whats the similarities between stephen hawking and a bull? They both charge
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
(Credit to Meme Machine)
What's the similarity between a 14-year-old girl and the fetus inside her? They're both thinking, "Oh fuck, mom is gonna kill me!"
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
What did the baseball player say to the bassist?
Nice baseline!
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.
Why are women like diapers?
They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
