Similarity jokes
What do 7 year old girls want?
To be ate!
What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?
They both sprout water.
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).
Pink Floyd + Donald Trump = Same.
Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?
They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"
What do the Twin Towers and murder victims have in common?
Both were owned by their own kind.
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
Why is a sick person and California similar? They tend to burn up.
What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?
They both see things they shouldn't.
You call me ugly, but maybe that is why we look alike.
Q: What do kidnappers and rapists have in common?
H: It's similar to shoes.
A: White Vans.
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.
What are the similarities between a broken tire and me?
We were both caused by broken rubber.
Why are vaginas and the Mariana Trench similar? Lots of seamen go missing there.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.