Short jokes
1950: In the future there will be flying cars.
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.
My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!
Man: Can you be my girlfriend?
Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.
Man: Oh, here's your rope.
Hippity hoppity, women are property!
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Is Gwen still on this app thing?
When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
What is China's favorite restaurant?
The Pet Store.
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.
I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
Famous last words.
Twin towers: “Is it a bird, is it Superman? AAAAAHHHHHH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIZZ!”
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi? Because they can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Does Donald know his wife is Mexican?
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!
You want a pizza from me!!!!
"Rapeboat" makes Elton John seem straight.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.