Short jokes
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?
Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
You are all going to be pun-ished!
Why did the pervert sing "Gucci Gang"?
Because a woman just gave him a lil pump.
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she tried to join an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.
Wanna hear a poop joke?
Nah, they always stink.
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-of-war?
A: Pulled pork.
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.