Short jokes
What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
What’s the difference between school and prison? One is painted.
What do you call a group of black people?
A hoodie.
These aren't funny.
Alien vs Predator.
Cosby vs E.T.
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find his family. Sorry!
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?
Abo-lanche.
"How was your day?"
"It was great."
"What was so great about it?"
"I saw a puppy."
"Awww."
"And I ran over it :)"
Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”
Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?
Sans: Measuring your patience.
Papyrus: Grunts
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
The winds of Uranus go on and off, so you could say the wind is broken.
What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?
Dark humor never dies!
If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.
Are butt cheeks one word, or should I spread them apart?
I am a reverse rapper because I put bars in my mouth.