Short jokes
Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
What is the chair's favorite person?
A sit-izen.
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh
Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
Turn the comments into a school shootout ;)
Woman: A womanβs life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."
- Sun Tzu
"If we donβt have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"