Short jokes
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!
Where do you order nonbinary pizza?
Little xe/xyrs.
Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.
A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.
Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.
You have an entire life being an idiot, why not take a day off?
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
[Parent’s signature: __________]
So I got my sister shampoo for her birthday, and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor.
Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?
Me: I'm just BONELY.
Sans: Good one kiddo.
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!
What gives you the power to walk through a wall?
A door.
What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
Apples look better hanging on a tree.
What's the emergency number, Jimmy?
Jimmy: 9/11!