Short jokes
Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
I'm at the circus, Noah O'Brien.
Yo mama so fat I bet if she farted, the whole Universe go Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-BOOM.
Where do mermaids get a job?
At the kelp wanted station.
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
What do you call a fat Mexican rat?
Rasmus.
I swear every time I walk past a guy, they stare at my ass. I always keep wondering why it hurts so much.
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
Actually doing homework.
She a hoe, she shit on herself.
I kicked my leg into my dad's balls in 1999.
What did one Justin say to the other Justin?
- Fuck you.
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of cereal?
Snap, crackle, and RAP!
Steven Hawking lost the Wi-Fi connection on March 14, 2018.
What do you call Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
The world's first microwaves.
You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.