Short jokes
I'm as straight as a rainbow.
Whatβs the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
Luigi and Daisy are actually Aussie! How?
They wear GREEN and GOLD! The Aussie Colors!
Hey man, I was gonna tell a joke about 9/11, but it was just plane.
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.
Ever seen twins?
If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
Finish the lyrics: Can I put my...
It took me 9.11 seconds to realize.
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.