Short jokes
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
Before: Caring & Noble.
After: Chernobyl.
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
What do you call a pissed off midget?
A micro-aggression.
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
What is the opposite of Progress?
Congress.
If it does more than pee, it's too old for me!
Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.
Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3
Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
What do 9/11 and gender have in common?
They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.
I think God is cool with abortion.
After all, he did kill his only son.
You could be sitting alone and still be the dumbest person in the room.
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
Your mum, your dad, The things you never had.
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
I'd make an emo joke, but that would be cutting a little too close.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.