Short jokes
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.
What do you call the nun that hates?
For Paul Walker, Mother Teresa.
What’s a gay man’s favorite cereal?
Froot Loops
What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?
Stephen Hawking.
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?
Yoda was in charge of scheduling.
Papaumamaumau papaumaumamau.
what do you call a shadow stalker REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Arsenal
How does Stephen Hawking compete in the hurdles?
He ducks when he gets to them.
Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...
An orphan.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ididap.
Ididap who?
That's the joke, you did a poo!
Ice cold coffee? Cool beans!
Carys’s mum has chemo.
Your hairline is so far back, when your forehead was playing tag, your hairline ran away real far.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.