Short jokes
Which room is the safest place in the house?
The living room.
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
Why do girls play handball? Because they want to feel balls.
But then why do boys want to? Oh...
What do women and Nvidia have in common?
They both do not make very good drivers.
What do you call a fruit's penis?
A percock.
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
If Trump pooped in a toilet, the toilet would die.
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
I thought of telling my teachers that I am transgender so I get to wear my AirPods in class.
Tell me a joke.
OK, your face.
Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone!
What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, because they are walls.
Why can't orphans be kidnapped?
Because most kidnappers use a family van.
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.
Autistic kids are like cats. Prove me wrong.