Short jokes
My aunt worked as a human cannonball.
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-of-war?
A: Pulled pork.
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.
I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.
Wanna hear a poop joke?
Nah, they always stink.
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
What is the opposite of Progress?
Congress.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?
They’re just two weeks to quit.
You are all going to be pun-ished!
Why did the pervert sing "Gucci Gang"?
Because a woman just gave him a lil pump.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
I've been told I've got a perfect cock.
She sure was hard on me when I took it from her, though.