Short jokes
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?
Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she tried to join an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.
Wanna hear a poop joke?
Nah, they always stink.
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
What do bats like to eat?
Bloodsuckers! 🩸🍭😂
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Primary School Maths Teacher: Maths has no Limits!
High School Maths Teacher: There's this thing called Limits.
My aunt worked as a human cannonball.
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.
How do blondes play real-life Jenga?
By stacking humans.
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
Why are orphans rude at school?
What's the school going to do? Call their parents?
Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-of-war?
A: Pulled pork.