Short jokes
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.
Your mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, you missed two episodes.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
You're so skinny that when you're driving, you have to put the seat forward to reach the pedals. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
How is baseball like cake?
They both need batters.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
Your mum is so fat, flat earthers think she's round!
Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.
What is flatter than an Asian?
Their nose.
"Guys, let's make this post have the most comments on the whole website."
WTF 850 COMMENTS???
Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
Why are sex toys something to stuff in your asshole and not a big racecar?
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
Why did you always see Michael Jackson wearing two white gloves?
Because masturbation is against Michael Jackson's religious beliefs.
Karma is like rape.
What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.