Short jokes
Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive.
Miscarriages are okay because God did not want the baby to be alive.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
Michael Jackson goes to his favorite bakery and says to the workers, "This is my favorite baker, hehe."
Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"
Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"
I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.
Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunt's anus?
The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.
What milk do orphan babies drink?
Not their mom's, though.
Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.
Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!
Me: hee hee egypt.
Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.
Your hairline is so far back, even the slaves can't plant that shit back.
Why are lesbians so bad at math? They can't multiply.
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?
Me: I'm just BONELY.
Sans: Good one kiddo.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
Anybody know a girl named Candice? She just added me on snap.
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?
Hanging out.
"Whole November month, sniper lessons available in Dallas U.S.?"