Short jokes
What do you call a pissed off midget?
A micro-aggression.
What did one alligator say to the other alligator?
"Let’s go for an all-in-one buffet!"
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
How do oysters call their friends?
On shell phones!
What is the strongest creature in the sea?
A mussel!
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
What do cows call money?
Moola.
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?
They are always so distant! :-]
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
Before: Caring & Noble.
After: Chernobyl.
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
Your mum, your dad, The things you never had.