Short jokes
How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach?
Stop eating caterpillars.
Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.
Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!
What kinds of apples grow on trees?
All of them.
What is your snow ❄️ name? X-ray.
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE!
P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.
I wrote a passage to stop about bullying, and it was easy. Do you know why?
Because I am a bully!
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
What did God say when he made Jake Paul?
"Oops, I made a mistake."
Where do you find white people on a bench?
- The NBA.
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?
Blood is red.
Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?
"Bippidy boppidy boo! Bill Cosby is coming for you!"
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
Everything is made in China, except babies... They are made in Vachina.
This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."