Short jokes
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor
Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.
Roses are red, Lemons are sour; Lift your skirt up and give me an hour.
Oh, you need a lesbian joke?
Uhh... gimme a second....
Me???
Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."
Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."
What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?
"Alcohol, you later!"
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
When you go to Incestry.com instead of Ancestry.com.
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
Uranus is huge.
Your butt's so big you can slap it and ride the waves.
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.
My favorite species is a cheetah because
Ima cheet-ah on the test.
If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.
Did you hear about the racist sprinkler?
It kept going: "Spick spick spick Chink chink chink!"
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.