Short jokes

Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.

My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.

Americans don't like playing chess with Muslims; last time they did play, they ended up losing two towers.

Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.

If you humped a whale, it would humpback.

If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.

What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?

They both make vegetables.

I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.

What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.

So my friend's birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.

The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.

Don't use Head and Shoulders, just use Head; otherwise, you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through.

Why is James depressed?........ because he's a bitch.

What do you call a nervous Jedi?

Panakin.

What kind of dog can do magic tricks?

A labracadabrador.

Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?

He was stealing all the samples.

You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!

I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.

How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?

There’s a stairway to heaven.