Short jokes
My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!
You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire?
Hot Wheels.
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
If per capita is an issue, decapita can be arranged.
I tried to start a music career, but it crashed harder than Paul Walker.
Fake emo: when I’m sad, I cut myself.
Real emo: same.
Fake emo: another piece of cake.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
Yo mama was so fat, Huggy Wuggy couldn't fit his arms around her!
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
Michael Jackson goes to his favorite bakery and says to the workers, "This is my favorite baker, hehe."
What do you call a white kid who kills another?
Russia vs Ukraine hahaha.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
[Parent’s signature: __________]
Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?
Me: I'm just BONELY.
Sans: Good one kiddo.
Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive.
Miscarriages are okay because God did not want the baby to be alive.