Short jokes
Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
How do you enter your house?
Through Bill Gates!
Q: How did Helen Keller get a concussion?
A: She kept stepping on a rake.
What was the worse purchase America ever made?
Spending billions on two rice cookers in 1945.
How are Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
I was sweating like Michael Jackson in a Chuck E. Cheese.
Therapist just mean the-rapist.
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.
What does the Cow say to the spy?
"Are you udder cover?"
What do you call a man with no hands? Clapless.
All zodiac signs have a hair style, but cancer is just a one-way thing.
So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.