Short jokes
Fake emo: when I’m sad, I cut myself.
Real emo: same.
Fake emo: another piece of cake.
Yo mama was so fat, Huggy Wuggy couldn't fit his arms around her!
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
If per capita is an issue, decapita can be arranged.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
Where does Hitler look first when he loses something? The attic.
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.
We need to stop making jokes about orphans. They will tell their parents. Oh wait...
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
What did the orphan say to his parents?
I'm tripping balls right now!
Papyrus: Well come to the underground.
Sans: How was your falls?
Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.
Sans: Give me your balls!
What does LMAO mean? Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.
Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.
What is the opposite of Progress?
Congress.