Short jokes
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo!
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
Your mom is so old, she turned to dust before Thanos snapped.
My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.
What's fast and almost got away?
A Mexican jumping the border.
I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.
*I was actually up all night watching.*
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
Actually, it isn't a bear joke, but bear with me here...
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."
How do you paint a wall red?
You shoot a baby with a .50 cal.
Stephen Hawking walks into a b... nevermind.
Which country is next to the USA? USB.
Pope Francis: "What is the hardest thing about nailing a young boy to a cross?"
"My penis."
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.