Short jokes
I'm a turd.
Yo momma is so ugly even the trash man wouldn't pick her up.
Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.
Do you know how to confuse Helen Keller?
Put her in a room and tell her to find the corner.
Why did the plane go to KFC?
To lose its wings and crash!
What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.
What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?
"Verdun for."
My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.
They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.
I keep getting ads about belly fat.
Wow, why so many of the same joke?
What is the similarity between math and buildings?
Two parallel lines can be intersected by a plane.
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.
When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.
Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.
Sign in sheet!
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.