Are you George Floyd?
'Cause baby, you take my breath away... OOF!
Short Jokes
Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.
Q. What do you call a Muslim basketball player?
A. Osama Bin Ballin'.
What is the opposite of Progress?
Congress.
I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.
If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?
What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?
Depends on who's sucking.
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!
My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!
You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.
Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.
Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.
In British chess I guess they play without a queen...
But in American chess they play without 2 towers.
People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!
Where do you order nonbinary pizza?
Little xe/xyrs.
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
Apples look better hanging on a tree.
What do you call Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
The world's first microwaves.
You have an entire life being an idiot, why not take a day off?
