Short jokes
Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...
WAITTTT WHATTT
Balls are annoying. They just bounce and never keep still.
Why are emos like paper?
They cut easily.
Lol, these jokes have been heard millions of times.
Why does Hitler need glasses?
Because he could Nazi.
What’s the only other advantage of being an orphan?
The teacher can’t give you homework.
A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.
Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.
I finally got a girlfriend.
Her name is Remington Model 32.
Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
Hello everyone, now a question to make it in there is no right or wrong answer, but who here has watched fireb0rn??
What do we want? A cure for obesity.
When do we want it? After lunch.
I'm just like my LEDs, I'm meant to be hung.
Why do trans women go by she/her?
Because if they went by her/she, they'd be Hershey's.
I want to tell you a joke about 9/11... but I'm afraid it will be the bomb.
I went to Starbucks today and they asked what I wanted, and I replied with "to die, a shot of bleach, and an deppresso expresso."
Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.