Short jokes
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!
I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?
She wanted to be for sure for sure!
My dad smashed my PS5, so I smashed his wife.
Sam and Amya like anal sex with each other.
They put the woman's rights in the fantasy section in the library.
What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common?
Everyone gets a turn ;)
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.