Short jokes
Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?
A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
BLM.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.
Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?
What was on Stephen Hawking's gravestone? "Intel inside."
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
*bowl of dark grapes*
Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men.
Friend 2: Black? Good one.
Friend 1: 21 at a time.
Where were the first French Fries 🍟 made?
In Greece.
Punch an orphan in the face what they gonna do? Tell there parents
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."