Short jokes
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
Been watching Smackdown DVDs, and I'm so erect right now. I'm so bricked up.
I respect woman’s choices... either she wants to cook first, then clean, or she wants to clean first, then cook.
Do you know how to make 4 Albanians stand on a shoebox?
Just tell them that it floats.
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
What do you say to make a redhead mad?
Anything.
When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.
Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.
For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?