Short jokes
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.
Me: So you two girls are from England?
Girls: Wales.
Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!
I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?
She wanted to be for sure for sure!
My dad smashed my PS5, so I smashed his wife.
Sam and Amya like anal sex with each other.
They put the woman's rights in the fantasy section in the library.