Short jokes
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
22 ants were playing football in a saucer.
One ant said to another one, “We'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!”
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...
What did the panther say at the poker party?
I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."
Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer who--
Is cut off by being murdered.
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?
Wrapped around that tree.
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.
What's black and never works?
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard!
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.