Short jokes
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."
Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer who--
Is cut off by being murdered.
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?
Wrapped around that tree.
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.
What's black and never works?
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard!
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
"Transgenders men in disguise".... A xxx Transformers parody coming soon to DVD.
Why did Sally get a black eye?
Because she tried to play patty cake.
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?
Why do people watch hentai?
Because they are as fake as pornstars are.
What was the last thing that crossed Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.
In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?
A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.