Short jokes
My aim is cursed; one of my Angry Birds hit a field.
Hitler killed 18 million and only died once.
Fucking camper!
Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
What's another name for an Incel? A feminist.
My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.
My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
What happens to Mary Poppins when the wind dies down?
*Mary Poppins seen falling in background*
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
The Milky Way!
Grandpa said, "No phone near the table," so I said, "You're not allowed near the school."
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit!"
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"
Jokers are all about the delivery.
Except abortion jokes...
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.