Short jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
Why is Penaldo's favorite club Real Mallorca?
Because it reminds him of Kathryn Mallorca🥵
What’s a fun game to play during a pride parade?
Capture the flag.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.