Short jokes
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
Xd.
What kind of cheese protects castles?
MOAT-zerrela.
Q) What do trees call deforestation?
A) TREASON!
What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.
What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
What did the kids say hi to? A slide.
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?
Sally.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?
A. Prankenstein.
Velcro is such a rip-off.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
I left Iran. Guess how? I ran!
What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?
They took a class trip.