Short jokes
What does Trump stand for?
Trump Runs Underneath My Penis.
What's the difference between herpes and my dad?
Herpes stays around.
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows.
He only won the election because of rigging.
82 million votes my ass.
Ask me for proof.
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
I did ap.
I did ap who? (I did a poo)
EEWW you did a poo???
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
This is a Rickroll. The joke is that you thought you were going to get something else, but instead you got Rickrolled.
What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?
What is the autistic woman’s favorite Dorito flavor?
Neurospicy.
Gwen, can we please chat? 😊
Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.
Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.
What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?
Tan toes.
Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!
Orphan: *sits there sadly*
Where can you donate an aborted fetus?
Your local pizzeria.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
What did the bulldozer say to the house?
"I wanna bulldoze houses!"
Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?
A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
I regret my abortion.
I didn’t know child labor was an option.