Short jokes
My grandad broke his legs.
To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.
It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.
Most foresters have a wooden personality.
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
Why did an orphan kill ET?
To phone home.
Yo, sis, come here.
Sis: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?
Sis: Yup.
Me: Can I go?
Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.
Me: I love you.
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Where does the resistor go after a long day?
It goes Ohm.
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
Arsenal
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
AIDS?
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.
I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
What do you call a train that likes toffee?
A chew-chew train.
What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?
mummy