Short jokes
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.
What do you call an army of autistic people with guns?
Special forces.
Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.
Why do cat orphans watch sci-fi movies?
Because they won't understand what the mother ship is.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.
I love Fortnite because I touched grass for the first time and also I love Chung Lei.
The past, present, and future walk into a bar.
It gets really tense.
That shit was trash. You can't handle me.
Hold up. Aren't you Nathaniel B.?
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
Why can't orphans become famous?
Because it will become easier for Technoblade to track them down.
Why is America so good at Rubik's cubes?
They have a history of sorting colours.
Hey, look, it's Bai! (insert the picture of a Bai drink)
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.
Where did the mouse go?
To the mouse-um!
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!