Short jokes
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
Where does the resistor go after a long day?
It goes Ohm.
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
One's a busy ditch.
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
A man walked into a bar...
Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My grandad broke his legs.
To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-cola!
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
I cannot believe Kelly Clarkson's music is considered pop! More like comatose music!
What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.
When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,
So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Biden, no cash, and no hope.
What do you call a fart in a gay bar?
A mating call.