Short jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Being in a band without a pencil is as easy as reading snare drum music.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
Quiz: Turn what for what?
Why do women have no need for umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.
My dad went for the milk, but he left his wheelchair.
When someone says: "You're a mistake."
Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."
You wanna know what's a concept? An orphan being homeschooled.
My name is Mike Oxmaul, and my friend's name is Hugh Janus!
I’m horny who else is *ugh ugh papi harder*.
I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
I hate my stupid wrinkly ring doing f, dad!
It's snot fair!
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
Your momma so fat when she jumped the world collapsed.
I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t feel like screaming.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
¡Hola, soy Dora!
Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!
Hippity hoppity, women are property!
I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.