Short jokes
Why did he quit the internet?
People kept on (rick) rolling him.
You're so ugly that even the World Trade Center got a better transformation than you.
Most people call it grave robbing...
I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!
Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!
I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.
This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?
No Panera Bread.
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
You know, the earth was flat till they buried your mama.
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.
His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”
Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”
An orphan tried to make an app about orphans, but there was no home page.
A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.
I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.
LewenGOALski
Fun Fact: Did you know JFK's brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine?