Short jokes
Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
You know, the earth was flat till they buried your mama.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
Technoblade should have drank milk. Would have gotten rid of all his status effects!
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
Would you watch a tree grow? Or a knee grow?
The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.
What's white at the front and black at the back? A bus.
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
Yo mama so ugly, she got a lifetime ban from KFC for ordering too many burgers.
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...
Handy Andy.
It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.
9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
What foods are orphans allergic to? Homemade food.