Short jokes
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM
Friend: Hey, wanna race home?
Orphan: What home?
How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.
Your hairline went back faster than your adoption papers!
Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).
What do you call it when Panera is over?
Panera end.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"
Why is September 11th the best birthday?
Everyone remembers it! :)
Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.
I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.
I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.
Wait, actually.
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?
I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.
I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.
Why can't orphans really play baseball?
Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pizza topping? Pepperon-he-he.
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.