What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
Short Jokes
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.
What do a stool and an emo have in common?
They both sit still.
Why are they called "breaking news" in the entire world?
Because they are breaking the whole entire news.
You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.
A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: "Doctor, Doctor, I broke my leg!" The doctor said: "I see..."
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
Ever absorb Griffin?
Brady Quinn!!
"Did you go to the biscuit eating championship?"
"Yea, it was crackers!"
Chode.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To wipe the chicken's ass!
What's the difference between acne and the Pope?
Acne waits till you're 13 to cum on your face.
What's white, black, and red all over?
A zebra who walked into a hunting reserve.
So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.
