Short jokes
A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: "Doctor, Doctor, I broke my leg!" The doctor said: "I see..."
"Did you go to the biscuit eating championship?"
"Yea, it was crackers!"
Ever absorb Griffin?
Brady Quinn!!
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
Chode.
What’s a downy's favorite song? Down Under.
What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
What do a stool and an emo have in common?
They both sit still.
Why are they called "breaking news" in the entire world?
Because they are breaking the whole entire news.
You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
What's the difference between acne and the Pope?
Acne waits till you're 13 to cum on your face.
What's white, black, and red all over?
A zebra who walked into a hunting reserve.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To wipe the chicken's ass!
Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"