Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: why? Friend: I'm color blind
Why are people in Japan always skinny?
Because last time there was a Fat Man, a whole city disappeared.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
your hairline is like the universe still waiting to be discovered
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. đ
Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))
What is italian sausage? the dick of a gay italian
My sister's bf is mad at me cuz I fucked his girl
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine
What do you call a drunk depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
how does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
Donald: If I lose this election, I will leave the country.
Joe: Bi den
Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
In a cruel twist of Irony Stephen Hawkins Favourite song was "I've got the power".
What is an alien's favourite chocolate? A mars bar
Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
What do you call a Chinese man with a camera?
Phill ming
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.