Short jokes
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.
I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.
Boy Scout...
- A kid who dressed like an idiot.
- An idiot who dressed like a kid.
What did the HP say to a Dell?
Hello!
What does the policeman say to the jumper?
"Hey! Pullover!"
I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."
A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.
But hay! It's in my jeans!
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.