Short jokes

What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?

Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.

What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"

Fennec users lmao.

Do you want to buy my Hoover?

I mean... it's just collecting dust.

The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisfactory!

How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.

What do you do with a dead chemist?

You Ni-tro-gen!

I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.

Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their butt quacks.

Boy Scout...

- A kid who dressed like an idiot.

- An idiot who dressed like a kid.

What does the policeman say to the jumper?

"Hey! Pullover!"

What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"

What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?

Be there or B2.

My grief counselor died just the other day.

He was so good though, I didn't care.

I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."

Gan cube prices?

I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.

How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.