What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
Short Jokes
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.
What’s George Floyd’s favorite color? Neon black.
Hi, I am just wondering who went into my account, 'cause I've changed my password, by the way.
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
Knock knock! Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock!
Why is April the smartest month?
It can never be fooled.
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
Hey girl, are you a drill sergeant, because you have my privates' attention.
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
What does a transgender call his/her parent?
Transparent.
My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.
Your mama is so short, she does backflips under her bed.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
Why does the sky think it's so powerful?
Because it's always looking down on us.
I like turtles.
What does Drake call his rake?
Da-Rake.
What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!
Knock knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
