Short jokes
why was the bad baseball player so good at bowling?
He kept making strikes.
What music do depressed people listen to?
"I Believe I Can Fly."
You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.
When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?
What did the person with no hands get for Christmas?
He didn't open it yet.
Two people are under the covers. The man says, "Quote the Beatles: Come together!"
What's the difference between a baby and a brick?
A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.
A man can form Jupiter girls came from Venus, and other genders came right from Uranus.
Florida: Homemade Taco Stand.
California: Homemade Lemonade Stand.
Alabama: Homemade Abortion Stand.
My son said he burnt food on accident, so I told him he was an accident.
Michael Jackson was recently sighted at Target. Why? The sale was all boys' pants half off!
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? A combo meal.
Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!
Joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke.
I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?
Why don’t clams like to share?
Because they’re very shellfish.
What mental disorder do all Mexicans have?
Borderline Personality Disorder.
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. 😉😏