Short jokes
What do painters and prostitutes have in common?
They're both paid for a good finish.
Ruhan.
I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.
How did the orphan become famous? They said, "Go big or go home."
What pictures did turtles take?
Shell-fies!
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian responds with, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
What would you name your pet rabbit?
Harry.
🚘 What is as old as the earth 🌎 and new every month? The moon.
If you play games, go play on your sister.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
Ha, Uranus face!
Not in a racist way tho.
Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?
Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.
What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.
Where did Sally go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
I can hear the whole world booing me.
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
What did the rock say to the flower?
Rocks can't talk. -.-
I love my dog, Sadie.
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.