Short jokes
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
Yo mama is so Jewish that pennies run away from getting pinched by her.
Why does everyone think Stephen Hawking is drunk?
Because he can't even walk.
Why did the impostor vent... to get to the other side?
The reason why you have a high pitched voice is because you always sing opera.
69, 420, 21.
Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?
A: You don't have to buy dog food.
How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.
What is the epitome of being quick on the draw?
Coming both first and last in the same round of "soggy biscuit".
I had a girlfriend who was a below-the-knee amputee. We broke up because she just couldn't keep her legs closed.
When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.
Trump got a new jet.
He's probably already licked the windows.
Father: "Fritz, light the Christmas tree!"
I used to be a fan, but after seeing her OnlyFans account, I'm a whole air conditioner.
Why was the chicken screaming?
He had an egg stuck in his butt.
What's funny is that I am typing this in the middle of a document... WAIT JENGA!!!!!!!
Bin Laden was the hide and seek champion for 10 years, 2001-2011.
Better to drink until you wave it off than to wave it down.
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.