Short jokes
I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
What do you call a frozen communist?
Hammer and popsicle.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.
what do you call a shadow stalker REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?
He got to cut himself.
Which bees produce milk?
Boobies.
Rainbows top the class, as they always score with flying colors.
My father left me at a young age.
He was only five.
I will always remember my dad's last words....
"15 dollars and I'll jump."
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.
I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"
What's a paedophile's favorite footwear?
White Vans.
A girl named Sally has no arms.
"KNOCK KNOCK"
She never answered...
What games would deaf people not be good at?
Simon says and Musical chairs.