Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.
Short Jokes
Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...
Then IT hit me.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
It was just a prank, and stop calling our humor "plane." In our opinion, it's fire.
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
The F in orphans stands for family...
If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?
Well, you know what they say about cliffhangers...
Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
