Short jokes

Every male is expected to pass their driver's test. Paul Walker clearly failed his.

How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace.

How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?

You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.

Sorry.

Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. What the fuck? Saturday.

Why can't orphans be gay?

They don't have a closet to come out of.

What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?

You can shut the book up.

How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it!

Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.

Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.

I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.

Fat, mean, and probably inbred.

What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.

What’s the difference between kids and drugs?

I don’t hide drugs in my basement.

What's Gru's favorite Beyoncé lyric? "Who run the world... Gorls."

Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.

Wanna know what is offensive? I don't know, ask feminist (sans undertale).

My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.

I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤

Does your shoe have a hole in it?

No.

Then how did you put your foot in it?

Here's how to piss off all of North America.

All the United States is, is South Canadia.