Short jokes
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.
What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.
Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?
"Sandy cheeks."
Where were the first orange trees 🍊🌳 planted?
In Orange County.
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?
Kill their parents.
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.