Short jokes
Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?
He won't separate the whites from the colors...
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
The twin towers are like water bottles.
It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.
I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.
Elephants never forget.
Cannibal eats missionary, gets a taste for religion.
Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?
I heard it was because of pier pressure.
What is black and white and is dead?
My Chemical Romance.
What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
God's racist. He separated light from dark.
What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister?
You better not lay a finger on her!
What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?
Get a fucking job.
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
Don’t worry if you have a stroke.
You’ll be all right.
What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE
When you have a bladder infection,
You're in trouble. 😜
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.