Short jokes
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)
There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those that know binary and those that don't.
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.
Fat, mean, and probably inbred.
Two silk worms got in a fight. It ended in a tie.
What do you call someone smart and dead?
Stephen Hawking...
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?
Why was the clown sad?
He broke his funny bone. PS: "funny bone" is not actually a bone.
Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?
You pick it up off the street.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?
You can shut the book up.
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.