Short jokes
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
Why did the farmer go to the strip club?
Because he was looking for his hoe.
A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"
What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? The I Fell Tower!
I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.
Beans
We all know Steven can’t post on here because he can’t pass the robot test.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
You watch 50 Shades of Grey, and you turn grey in bed.
All these jokes are pen-ful to read.
Where does Spider-Man keep his pictures?
On a website.
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
1 and 2 fell in love. The 2 said, "You're the only 1 for me!"
Life is like giving head... it always sucks.
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
What do you call a stalker stalking himself? A narcissist.