Short jokes
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?
An erection.
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.
I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper. Because a huge rock is headed towards Earth, and paper covers rock.
Spongebob is yellow, and he can't drive.
Must be Asian.
What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.
What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
Q. How much cum does a gay guy have?
A. A butt load.
I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.
Happiness.
Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?
$2 billion and high cholesterol.