Short jokes
What's the only good thing about being an orphan?
All snacks are family sized!
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?
What's an orphan's high school nickname? "Lone Stone."
I've sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there's no space on their training program.
I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!
I said, "Mum, I’ll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"
Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Why is a sick person and California similar? They tend to burn up.
My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
Me and my stepmom went into the forest.
I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.
Why didn't Logan Paul high five the Asian man? Because he loves to leave Asians hanging.
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
Get up, you lazybones!
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.