Short jokes
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.
First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.
My crush: "I cut 4 inches off my hair yesterday." Me: "So?" My crush: "4 inches is a lot!" Me: "Oh yeah?"
Why is that kid walking like that? Oh, he's an alter boy.
If you kill an orphan, would that count as a squad wipe?
How did the computer get out of the house?
He used windows.
Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?
Because he kept on running out of the pen.
Me: Have you ever tried African food?
You: No.
Me: They haven't either.
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...
The steaks were pretty high.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
Women should be allowed to leave the kitchen... to clean the rest of the house.
I'm better than you in every single way... I even have an extra chromosome.
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
Rape jokes are the funniest thing to ever exist.