Short jokes
What do you call 2 spies fucking?
Undercover.
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"
What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
Free delivery XD
What's an orphan's favorite game?
GTA, because they're actually wanted? Lol.
What is red and very rare?
A child in a blender.
I like my women like I like my microwaves.
Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.
I wish I could kill my family, but you realize you're an orphan.
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
I'm hertophobic -
aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.