Short jokes
You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."
Why did the son go to the store?
To find his dad.
What's an African's favorite TV show?
Meal Or No Meal!
Why do many New Yorkers like watching Spider-Man?
Because he’s always on the webcast.
What's the sun's favorite chocolate? Mars bar.
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
Who tells the best chicken jokes?
Comedi-hens!
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?
An AK-46.
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.
Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
What is the oldest animal in the world?
A zebra—it is black and white.
You know what to do with this?
Get it to the same amount of dislikes and likes!
When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.
If I looked like Stephen Hawking, I would also be an atheist.
Someone walked into a cancer ward and asked for a skin fade.
Why did the doctor check out Earth?
He had a tummy quake.