Short jokes
What do terrorists do on 9/11? They have a game of Jenga.
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-Raising (Rising).
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?
A: My dad didn't beat cancer...
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
It's muffi time, 'cause I wanna die, die, die.
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?
Bisexual.
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.
Boy: Spell ME.
Girl: M-E.
Boy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There is no D in ME.
Boy: Not yet.
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.