Short jokes
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
A little kid was lost, and he asked me to find his home. I love working at the orphanage.
Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."
What category of music did JFK like?
You could say he was a metalhead.
These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
What's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies?
My boner.
When a school shooter walks to the intercom and plays Pumped Up Kicks.
I got arrested for raping a girl. Its so unfair, i really thought she was dead.
Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?
Because of his short cummings.
The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
I was going to go hunting but then I realized, schools are closed due to covid.
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
What were the twin towers plains?
God's playing Jenga.
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys.