Short jokes
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...
no one could tell that it was their blood.
I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note... it's a start...
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though.
What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...
Let the bodies hit the floor.
My friend asked me to describe myself in 3 words...
"Lazy."
My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident?
An amputation.
What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.
Someone stole my toilet, and the police have nothing to go on.
If I die, delete my search history.
Me: Wanna play 9/11?
Friend: What's that?
Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
What do the initials ACLU stand for?
🤔
American Communist Lawyers Union.
what is the fastest country? iran.
What do you call an expert fisherman?
A "MASTER-BAITER".