Short jokes
(just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.
I have a fish that can breakdance!
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing, let them wait for their parents.
Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.
Boy: Knock knock.
Girl: ...Who's there?
Boy: Not your parents!
Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?
She washed up on the beach.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
What’s the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber 🥒
Depression hits harder than my dad.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Because that’s the only love they get.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
A: The homepage.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
Society: :-)
I: :')
Society: you're doing it WRONG. It's :-) not :')
I: :'D
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other.
Wanna know why not to joke about 9/11? They usually crash the party.
What's the worst thing to star in?
An amber alert.
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.