How to punish a blind kid, rearrange his bedroom.
Short Jokes
What's the difference between humans and bullets?
Humans miss John Lennon.
What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.
Son: Dad, am I adopted?
Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?
What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
Why are babies called bundles of joy?
When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
Why can't an orphan play Family Feud? Because it has to have a family.
Wanna hear a good joke?
My dad’s love for me.
Once I saw a mirror... and that was when I got the ability to become a ghost.
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
The depressed kid getting bullied.
The bully: "You are useless."
The depressed kid: "I know."
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
What is a pedophile's favorite song?
Jerking off in A minor.
I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
A little kid was lost, and he asked me to find his home. I love working at the orphanage.
You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.
