Short jokes

Short jokes

Mum

Friend, your mum's fat.

Me: Well, your mum's so fat, she played pool with the planets.

Guy

How can you tell if a gay guy has a high sperm count?

Chew when you swallow!

Number

You take four, then you put a "n" at the end, then you take the "u" out, then you replace the "f" with a "p". What do you get?

Danny

If you're bored, hump Danny and fuck him. What is he, goons do fuck rock?

Wind

A group of friends went outside to pick up stuff. One of the friends said, "It is windy as heck out!"

Breath

Craig Duncan is a child soldier with bad breath and has killed 5 people (on Fortnite).

Dad

Why did Morgan’s dad leave her?

She kept making dad jokes.

Duck

Really funny jokes at https://www.ranker.com/list/duck-jokes/jack-napier

Friend

I was going to invite your friends to your birthday, but they were all extinct.

Battery

Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.

Time

What time is it when you cannot walk? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽.