Short jokes
When midgets smoke weed, do they get high or do they get medium?
All my jokes are cries for help.
INCLUDING THIS ONE.
Why can't depressed people leave the maze?
Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.
I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
Why can't orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.
Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."
What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
It must not be a good suicide story if you can tell it.
What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?
A party popper.
Why did God make pigs before politicians?
He just needed some practice.
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."
"White people can't jump"...
"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.