Short jokes
What is an obese lady's blood type?
Nutella.
How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
Genie: You can only have 3 wishes.
Man: I wish for more wishes.
Genie: You can’t wish for more wishes.
Man: I wish I could.
Genie: ......
What do people often say in a cold Mexican kitchen?
Brrrrrrito!
There are 4 people in a line. Three stand up and say "We are standing up for cancer," and then there's the one in the wheelchair.
Goats are so lazy these days. Computers have more RAM.
What is yellow and smells like bananas?
Josh Hemus - follow him on Instagram @joshhemus
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
"Herro, I cannot see my eyes."
You never told me you were part orangutan. Have you considered taking a vacation to Planet of the Apes?
You know bins????
They're trash!
So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
Gwen pegs Xzavier.
What's the good thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's twenty of them!
I don't think anyone even checks these jokes.
What did the pedophile say to the kids?
"FUCK!"
Yourself.
So I was making slime, so I put glue, and a lil' pump of lotion and slime activator. Ahah, lil pump, get it?