Short jokes
I have a girlfriend with a big dick.
Why did Lucas die?
'Cause he was old, Lucas.
Me: Hey, apple.
Apple: What?
Me: Knife.
Apple: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
You're so short you could be drowned by heavy rains.
A woman walked up to me and asked me for a joke. I stood there with a straight face knowing women can't be funny.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Mike Pence's hair is made of glue.
Hey so I like orphan jokes, and some of them are fun, but I think that's engonp.
If your wife says: “What would you most like to do to my body?” “Identify it” is the wrong answer.
Hello. What can I get you? A knife, mustard, Marella, gorilla?
What type of flower do you give an orphan?
A self-raising [flour].
What's long, hard, and bloody?
The Boston Marathon.
I killed a homeless dude, now she's at the funeral home. 😭💔
Where’s the English Channel?
Johnny: “I don’t know. My television doesn’t pick it up.”
That's why your grandma 6 ft deep, feet!
bnb dcnb cbf
I swear every time I walk past a guy, they stare at my ass. I always keep wondering why it hurts so much.
Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?
Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.
"Can we do 69?"
"How about we do 9/11 since we will crash together?"
It's still depression, by the way.
I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.