Short jokes
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
Q. When is your grandfather's bedtime?
A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Me sais yes to mom when she seis wha is 1 plus 1 and me is says NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! looooooooooooooooooolllolololololol
Kenneth's hairline [is] friends with Moses.
Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.
What's a name orphans hate to be called?
"Homie."
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
Stephen Hawking is intelligent.
He is not as green as he is cabbage.
What do you get when you cross between Tailga and emo?
Tailighmo.
You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.
Why do girls play handball? Because they want to feel balls.
But then why do boys want to? Oh...
Nemo turned emo and changed his movie name to "Finding Emo."
Last last, now everybody go chop breakfast.
Did you know Stephen Hawking died in a game? The game was Happy Wheels.
What does a homeless man call his mother?
Useless.
Friend texting fat boy: I know you're on the group chat. I can see you looking at my texts.
Me: I can only see fat.
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
You know sex is better than logic, but I could've proved it...
Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"
What's the difference between a UKIP voter and a shopping trolley?
Some shopping trolleys have minds of their own.