Short jokes
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Terrible!
Can I tell you a cat joke?
Yes, 'cause it's purr-fect.
Hi, my name is Crappy. I like tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and ya now GET LOST!
Why was the egg runny?
Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.
Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?
A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the New York Zoo.
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
My dad came back!
What did the cannibal say to the other?
"Can I practise on you?"
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won’t believe that.
What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"
Glue is sticky.
hahahahahhhahaha
Why did Stephen Hawking die? His ethernet cable fell out.
JOKES
1. my life 2. pat as a cat.
1111111111122222222
The wheels on the wheelchair go round and round.
My mother said I'm sexy. I said no, I have cancer.
Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?
She lost her ass playing poker...
What's the difference between an Al Qaeda Base and a Pakistani School?
"I don't know man, I just fly the drones."