Short jokes
You were born so fat they needed two cranes to carry you.
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
What kind of knickers is the best?
Windy knickers, because they're the best kind.
Best website ever 4 chair.
Kid: I need help!
Mom: Help your balls.
My girlfriend asked for a kiss, so I gave her my dick.
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
Why do orphans become bullies?
Because their mum and dad were never there for them.
You can’t land on Uranus XD
"Hey, is that a peach?"
*gets slapped on the butt*
"Noted."
Why are toads born with balls on their body?
Because they want more attention!
It’s funny my sister wanted to have sex with me.
Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.
What do squirrels eat at the fair? A-corn dog.
"Among Us" tea water.
The reason I love Stephen Hawking is because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
Q: Why don’t orphans have a personality?
A: They don’t have a person in reality!
I said to the orphan, "Do you want me to take you to your family? Oh wait..."
Me: You know your parents were very good people.
Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.
Me: I know, you're an orphan.
A butt saw the toilet and said, "Shit, I'm sick!"