Short jokes
Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.
What did Amtrak say at the Olympics?
I AM keeping Trak!
Why do duckies wipe after they poop?
Their butt quack.
Why did Russia put war on Ukraine for more nuts?
A man walks into a bar and then out.
What do you call a bottle of water flying over Africa?
A UFO.
If 6 guys are in a room with each other, is it technically a 6-pack?
How do you know an abo robbed your house?
The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.
You are so fat you were able to occupy Wall Street all by yourself.
You are so ugly, when you went to a haunted house, you came back with a job application.
You are so ugly when you gave birth to your baby, you gave it carpet burn.
Your hairline is dancing umlando.
What happens if you put your hand in glue? Your hand will stay there forever! I'm joking, hahaha!
I killed a man, but it was April Fools'!
You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.
Even your mother can never fix your hairline, just God.
What's a name orphans hate to be called?
"Homie."
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
Okay so not a joke but like- There's a fucking noose in my school gym.
Stephen Hawking is intelligent.
He is not as green as he is cabbage.