Short jokes
You think your friends get butthurt?
That's gay guys.
What color was the plane after it hit the tower?
It was all black inside (Martin Luther King Junior).
Two Arabs are swapping jokes. One cracks up and yells, "Man, that joke was an absolute blast!"
The professor said, "I think this question raises a few problems."
The student replied, "That is not a question; that is an answer."
I have a 12-inch destroyer.
Q. What do iPads and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
A. Kids turn them on.
Trump keeps calling people "nasty", "failing", and "disgusting".
Doesn't he own a mirror?
I was going to tell a ghost joke, but it just seemed so mean-spirited.
I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.
You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.
Q: What do you call an angry, bullied Asian kid?
Shoo Ting.
Q. Why aren't Epstein jokes funny? A. Because it's such a touchy subject.
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Son: "Mom, am I adopted?"
Mom: "Yes."
Son: "Where are my real parents?"
Dad: "We are your real parents, so... GET OUT!"
Dating a German is great because they don't play mind games; they just provide a detailed, 40-page PDF explaining exactly why you are wrong.
What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
Q: Why aren't emo jokes funny?
A: They always seem to cut a little too close.
Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?
A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.
Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?
A. She didn't know how to swallow.
Q. What's an emo's favorite type of comedy?
A. Gallows humor.