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g and g jokes

I hate these double standards.

if you burn a body at a crematorium you’re "doing a good job" if you do it at home you’re “destroying evidence”

Crime

Anonymous

Suicide is illegal because it’s a crime to destroy government property.

Depression

Being Depressed is gReAT

Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain…

Me: So… You’re new? Depression: (I don’t know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading… You know… Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job… Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we’re friends! Me: Interesting… (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it’s problemos) Me: Well I think you’re signed up! I’ll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)

AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]

Hand

Anonymous

An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. ¨You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?¨ The Cuban simply says, ¨See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap.¨ The other passengers are reassured and respond with, ¨Oh, OK.¨

The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. ¨You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?¨ The Russian simply states, ¨See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap.¨ Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, ¨Ah, yes! Of course.¨

The American scratches his head and goes, ¨I think I see the pattern here.¨ So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!¨

Friend

An0y1

I hate double standards – burn a body at a crematorium and you’re being, a respectful friend.

But do it at home and you’re, destroying evidence.

Uranus

Death&Decay

Better call NASA and tell them there is only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.

Baby

Anonymous

Oh baby there’s about to be 7 planets because in gonna destroy Uranus

Home

Anonymous

I hate these double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium and your doing a good thing, burn a body at home and your destroying evidence

Chuck Norris

THE YO MAMA

Chuck Norris destroy the YO MAMA

Fat

superman GAY

YOUR so fat that you have to live on pluto so you don’t destroy none of the planets

Darkness

Anonymous

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”

Cow

Yeetus

Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?

A: Udderly destroyed

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Difference

Just your average teen

Whats the difference between father’s and hurricanes?

Nothing.They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.

Ketchup

Frisk

Sans: I like eating ketchup, don’t believe me? It’s ASRIEL as it gets! UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!! Ink sans: umm lust? That’s INKAPPROPRIATE! Fell sans: I hate these double standards…if you burn a body at a crematoriom you’re doing “a good job” do it at home and your “destroying evidence.” Error sans: every time you make a typo, the errorists win…

Twin

Anonymous

Whats tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan.

Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all

Kid

ADMIN

when a kinderX=MsgBox(“you do not have permission to delete this item”,2+64,“error”)the abcsgarten teacher askes a kid to sing alphabet he said ab3defg teacher said do you like 3d he said yeah teacher yelled ok do you have a3ds yeah he said teacher goes ito his bag and sais say abcs or your 3ds will be destroyed he says ab3defghijlmnopqrs oh he learned well the teacher thrw the 3ds out the window the kid gets it and it still wirks then he googles abcs it goes to youtube and says abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz teacher is proud of the 3ds the class went home tekll ing pa

Fat

Anonymous

Yo mum so fat that when she sat on the couch the couch got destroyed

Drunk

Anonymous

So one day, I took a trip to Russia, and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any body guards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days. After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I had said yes, and the officer said god help us. So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent, and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said. I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy. He said we did, and that we were extremely drunk.

Girl

Resident Evil 7

All Mia needs to destroy the evil young girl in Resident Evil 7 Bio-hazard, was using a pedophile instead of serum

Star

Dixie_Normous

My dick actually destroyed the Death Star.

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