Short jokes
Peyk 47 said that Kobe Bryant is not a legend, but he is.
I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
Why can’t the disabled kid live on the corner?
Because he’s disabled.
Why do animals cross the road?
Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"
They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.
I want a bigger couch.
Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.
If you swallow gum, it will make your poop bouncy.
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?
Predator.
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
You masturbate...
AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
You won't get any Squirtle and Bulbasaur pets.
"Bill, never do that again."
If you are a girl--you are allowed to read this.
Look down your shirt and spell attic.
If you ever thought you were gay, remember that cockroaches exist.
There are people weirder looking than me.
Like who?
Like people with Down syndrome.
Friend 1: *turns off lights*
Friend 2: *is there with us*
Me: Woah! Where did friend 2 go?!
When a pregnant lady gives birth, it looks like she is having an erection.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get his degree in FLOW-NOMICS.
What's a rapper's favorite insect?
Rhy-mosquito.