Short jokes
The last time I ever made a joke was just now.
What do you call an orphan’s family tree?
A stump.
A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"
Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9.
But why is 10 scared? Because he is in the middle of 9/11.
What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose?
"I have runny volcanoes."
You pooooooooooooooooooooooo!
What's the difference between a low tide and your hairline?
Nothing, they're both receding.
How do you give a woman from Alabama a nice compliment?
Answer: You say to her, "Hey, nice tooth!"
I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.
So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.
Your mom and dad abandoned you because you're too ugly.
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.
Why can't white people go to Blackpool? Cuz they're not black.
What kind of chocolate do racists hate?
Dark chocolate.
Where is the best place to eat tacos?
In the Gulp of Mexico.
What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.
You're so skinny, you can barely fit through a door crack.
Bro, you look like you got your hair from the Roblox avatar shop.
Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.