Short jokes
Hi, father, I failed the class, you mommy!
Have you learned SoDN in chemistry? It's so hard.
What's SoDN?
Suck on deez nuts.
1+1=3, just add 9 months.
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
Q: Why doesn’t Jimmy Swaggart worry about his premature ejaculation problem?
A: He believes in the second cumming.
Bob, why are you kicking the kids?
What, it's not like they have a home to go to.
My mom ate my food, so I ate her pet hamster.
What's the definition of disgusting?
Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!
Sonic Boom in my ass.
Eastern Europe and Western Europe is a joke.
Why can't orphans call their friends?
Because they don't have a home phone!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Landing Greasy Grove.
Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"
Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.
"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"
I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"
What do you call staring stares?
Stares.
Father's Day is a dad joke.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
You.
You who?
Who do you see over there???
I asked a kid where their parents were...
Lol