Short jokes
I'm autistic.
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
At night in the Nunnery, one Nun says to the other Nun, "Where's the candle?" The other Nun says, "Doesn't it!"
I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of socks? In case he got a hole in one!
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"
Why are Americans such good marksmen?
Because they had plenty of schools to practice their shooting.
What is welfare fraud supposed to taste like?
Bananas and Rice.
Why is Kyle Rittenhouse the Ultimate Crime Fighter?
Because in one night he killed a pedophile and a domestic abuser.
Joseph Rosenbaum died doing what he loved: chasing minors.
Dear NASA, your mom thought I was big enough.
–Pluto.
The longer the relationship, the longer the breakup will hurt you. Better break up now ooo.🤣
Gaykelyu
Trump's releasing the files.
To catch all the pedophiles.
He didn't know Epstein.
Didn't touch any teens.
Is your MBTI type INFP? Cause you're so FiNe.
A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"
Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."
American-accented, British pronunciation, what am I?
Either Canadian or European.
Who are the fastest readers on Earth?
The pilots flying the 9/11 planes. They went through 6 stories in 5 seconds.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors?
Surrounded by loved ones.
What happens if you look in the mirror and say fentanyl 3 times? You'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.