Short jokes

Well, yo mama is fat, and when she loses weight, all the food that she has is hers, but the Africans get none.

What is Puss In Boots' favorite boot brand?

CAT!

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they asked if I could pilot a plane.

So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!

Technoblade: It is high vitamin B.

Quackiity: What does vitamin B stand for?

Technoblade: Broke.

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"

Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?

Son: Dad, please don't.

Dad: Exactly.

You suck.

Your mom is so ugly, you look like her. Oh, got 'em!

Why is "T" well-respected, but more in its lowercase form?

It crossed the line with Jesus.

What constellation has no hair at all?

Cancer.

God said, “Let there be light,” so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.

Snap chat: Aaron10128

Nut

My name is Myria, my right nut.

You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!

A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"

I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."

Bootylicious lol

Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?

Roses are red, violets are blue, Old man Jeffrey touches the youth.

Why does Africa have no pharmacies? Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.