Short jokes
Yo forehead is so big, Albert Einstein couldn’t figure out the measurement of it!
Yo, hairline is as accurate as my jump shot.
What do you call grass that grows in space?
Astro-turf.
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the Wi-Fi password.
What is an orphan's role model?
Batman.
Why did the stairs move?
Because it was up to something!
Yo mama is so fat, she turned all the mermaids to fishes!
Every Dorito bag for orphans is family sized.
I wanna fight Gwen!
You are adopted.
No cap. No one loves you.
Bye.
Dude, I lied.
School's being safe.
I have a body count of 7.
I'll break your bones, b*tch.
Don't hate life, love it because when you want to live and try again in life, it's already too late. :(
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.
Jayfeather walks across the street, sees glass smash, runs down the street, and there lies a body... What?
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.