Short jokes
Why did Texas freeze to death? Because they're retarded.
Why did Paul Walker die? Because he crashed a car into a tree.
It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.
Jesus is great because Jesus is good. Amen.
What do you call a gay person who is gay but just can't admit it? A Filipino.
There once was a commie called Ed. Usually known as Ned. He went to bed, Got shot in the head, Unfortunately now he was dead.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
This is funny.
What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.
I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.
So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"
Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey?
Because proper tea is theft.
When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.
"Can I tell you a paper joke?" I said, "But it is pretty terrible."
I guess Canada's national igloo is melting because of global warming.
What did John say after someone shot his leg?
Oof!
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?
I hear it hurt like hell.
Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).
Wat?
Why is calculus called calc? Because you need a calculator. Lol.
Why did the cow go to space?
To get ice cream!