Why did the rapper apologize to the sidewalk?
He didn’t mean to SPIT that hard.
Short Jokes
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the interview?
Because his FUTURE was too BRIGHT!
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the stage?
To keep track of his rhyme time.
Why was the rapper bad at basketball?
He could only dribble rhymes.
I used to think all Americans were racist.
Now I've changed my mind. They DID elect an orange president.
What do you call a rapper's favorite place to eat?
The MIC Donald's drive-thru.
Why did the rapper bring a calculator to the concert?
To COUNT his BARS.
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses?
To SHADE the HATERS!
Why did the rapper sit on the stool?
Because he had too much FLOW to stand still!
What’s a rapper’s favorite part of the house?
The rhyme cellar.
What do you call an octopus dad?
An octodad.
Suicide
What did buttholes say after taking a dump?
Buttholes say what a good diarrhea dump.
What is the difference between the assassination of César and the assassination of Jesus?
They were both killed by Romans.
My best friend said, "Can you put your dick in me?" I said, "Can I cum in you?"
What's the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
You can only unload one of them with a pitch fork.
What did the dick say to the asshole?
You need another dick.
Why did the liberal cross the road?
(Ah, fuck this shit, I'm gonna kill myself!)
What did the bitch say to her sister when she stepped on her toe? Oww, mitosis!
I once was sitting outside and watched the birds go by. I checked my watch and said, "My, how time is FLYING by!"