Short jokes

Short jokes

Mum

Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?

Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.

Name

These are some of the greatest names ever: Dixie Normous, Dixie Rekt, Ka Monmi, Ice Wallow Kum, Dick Sinsider, Anita Biggerman.

Fence

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?

Time to get a new fence!

Zoo

Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.

Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.

Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!

War

The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.

Man

What do you call a man with 6.022 x 10^23 dollars?

A Moleionaire.

Trip

You know you trip and fall. Here is the funny joke: Did you have a nice trip?

9/11

Yeah, I keep telling everyone 9/11 jokes, but they all just crash and burn.

Death

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.