I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."
Short Jokes
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
What do Ethiopian people have better than Australians?
Internet.
The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.
Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?
Because krypton is "stable."
My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.
Dad: Uh, yeah!
Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!
Parents: Sex!
Son: What?
Parents: Look, you can spectate!
I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂
Isaac
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.
When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
Wanna hear the car joke?
Nah, it's too fast for you.
Fanta Klare Zitrone is cool.
What do you play Fallout 4 with low health?
You Fallout.
Which mineral is so impolite?
IRONic.
What did the beaver say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
I knead bread.
Stormtrooper: My lord, what should we do with all this beef?
Palpatine: Stew it.
What is scarier than a pile of dead babies?
The bottom one ate its way out!
You are so small that you play hockey against the curb!
If you're having a bad day, just remember the Blobfish exists.