Short jokes
My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."
What do Batman and a Black man have in common?
Answer: They can't go anywhere without Robin.
My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.
What do you call a garage that is gay?
A gyarge.
F*ck in' the poo.
Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?
Instead of Obama, it was supposed to be Osama. Pretending I got their names mixed up.
Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.
I'm so emo, my blood is black.
Why don't orphans have Life360?
Because parents won't track them.
What happens when you work in the Twin Towers? It connects to airplane WiFi.
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
Prince, do you love that girl Gwen more than me? Remember when you were at my house?
How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.
What did the walrus say when they lost the remote?
"Walrus the remote!"
What do you call cancers? Loyal, protective, and caring.
You are adopted.
No cap. No one loves you.
Bye.
I have a body count of 7.
I'll break your bones, b*tch.
Jayfeather walks across the street, sees glass smash, runs down the street, and there lies a body... What?