Short jokes
When do you go at stop and stop when done?
I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.
What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?
You will have even more birthday parties to go to.
Have you tried eating a clock?
It's time-consuming!
I know a baby carrot when I see one.
Q: What do you call a religious Wookie?
A: Jewbacca.
What do you call mo on a dating website? Tissue face.
Pacman 200 balls
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Yes, because a house doesn’t jump.
What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs."
I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.
I wanna go to Antarctica, but then I got cold feet.
What do stomata use to fill their pools?
Chlor-ine.
What do you call a gay cactus?
A "prick."
Laugh.
I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.
Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?
Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.
I know that my jokes are never punny but...
That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...
Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.
Why did the Mafia cross the road?
Forget about it...
What do you call a dick that's too small to see?
Tick-tack dick.