Short jokes

Why did the cow go to space?

To get ice cream!

How do you clean ash off a stove with chemicals?

I gave my friends some buttons.

Too bad he couldn't pull himself together.

My abortion.

When this guy fell off a cliff, he got an A+ for egg-cellence!

What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.

What do [you] call Tyler Brown?

A spaz.

This is funny.

What do you call a gay person who is gay but just can't admit it? A Filipino.

It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.

Jesus is great because Jesus is good. Amen.

Why did Texas freeze to death? Because they're retarded.

Why did Paul Walker die? Because he crashed a car into a tree.

Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).

Wat?

There once was a commie called Ed. Usually known as Ned. He went to bed, Got shot in the head, Unfortunately now he was dead.

I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.

So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"

I hate it when I accidentally eat out my dog, lol.

What does your mother look like after I had sex with her eight times? An octopus.

I told my doctor I was experiencing some back pain. He told me to smoke some weed because I had chronic back pain.