Short jokes
Why did the human eat cereal in the bathroom?
So he could querk.
What's only book rapeboat ever read? Rhyming dictionary, he got no rhymes without it.
America Twin Tower: "Hey, have you seen the Malaysian Twin Tower? I have, but only from 1971 to 2001."
Malaysian Twin Tower: "I STOOD LONGER!"
Why did the computer catch cold?
It left a window open.
Why did the computer go to bed?
It needed to crash.
What do pigs use to clean up? Hogwash.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Summer wasn't too bad either.
"Yo mama's so fat that when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming."
What is 9+9? 18.
What is 9+10? 19.
What is 9+11? -2996.
Inflation is so bad, McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushion.
"What did the zero say to the eight?"
"That belt looks good on you!"
I would like to make a Minecraft joke...
It would be too plain.
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
What do you give the dentist of the year? A little plaque.
How can you tell when a comic passes gas? Something smells funny.
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.