Short jokes
If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!
How does a rapper fix stuff?
With a RAP-AIR!
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?
He was told to high-jack it.
Yo mama so fat, she went outside and became the sun.
These are not funny. Those that are adopted feel hurt by these!
You shall feel ashamed of yourself!
Take the L! - Losers
What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?
Erectile dysfunction.
If someone's debating the speed of light and a drunk Russian, the Russian would take speed to grab a falling wallet.
That was a really crappy bun!
Yo momma's so fat, it takes her 1,000,000 hours on the toilet.
How do you get a million fowl?
You run through Africa with a bullet of water.
Obama got Osama.
You're so bald, I can see what's on your mind.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like roll-on deodorant!
You're so bald, I rub your head to see into the future.
You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.
My great uncle died in a concentration camp.
He fell off one of the guard towers.
What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?
Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.