Short jokes

You know shit is going down when anything pumped up kicks related is brought into school.

Yo mama so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.

I don't know why there are 26 letters in the alphabet.

Me: Spell "I cup."

My Friend: I see you pee.

Me: BOII YOU BETTER GIVE MEH SOME PRIVACY IN MY BATH ROOM!!!!

My Friend: Oh hehe O-O

Your forehead is so big, if you fell, you would knock out your whole state cold.

Why do orphans love Dom Toretto?

Because "family is everything!"

What do you call your mom?

Basement bound.

My mom wanted me to brush my hair.

And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...

What does a Russian do for entertainment?

A nuclear world fair.

Why did the chicken go to the restaurant?

To eat chicken!

What was Stephen Hawking's least favorite invention? The walkie-talkie.

Roses are red, I am very cool, You, on the other hand, Need to drown yourself in a pool.

Shut the f*** up, I am an orphan!

Kobe played I Spy and he said, "I spy a mountain."

Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"

She’s so nice.

I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no balls?

Still no fucking idea.

What do ants use when they're stinky?

Deodorant.

Jelianis' forehead😈

Is Uranus big? Well... your anus is...