Short jokes
What do you call a Chinese car thief?
Tommy Tookamota.
Why can't orphans become YouTubers?
They don't have electricity!
Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?
He heard that little boy's pants were half off.
Uma Thurman in "Pulp Fiction" was very kind and possibly the sweetest character, unless you count her forehead as of now.
What is an orange cucumber?
A carrot, duh!
What did the walrus say when they lost the remote?
"Walrus the remote!"
What do you call cancers? Loyal, protective, and caring.
What is one thing humans do before they eat?
They beat their meat to make nuggets.
Person 1: Wasn’t Stephen Hawking on X Factor?
Person 2: No, why would he be on X Factor?
Person 1: For dancing.
What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?
They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.
I just threw some cigarette butts on the ground while I was driving.
I wasn't clean after this.
What do farts fly with?
Smellicopters!
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
Yo mama is so fat, the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her!
My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?
Bro, your forehead so big Dakota's forehead seemed small.
What did God say to the good shepherd?
Nothing.
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."