Short jokes
Why can't orphans go to family restaurants?
Because they don't have a family to go with.
So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"
Get it? "Horse-ing."
I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.
What did the man say to his wife, wanna play?
Why did the Russian cross the road?
To get to the other side.
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?
0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a piece of shit? A. Shit isn't orange.
Stop making jokes about Kobe.
What do you call a retarded Catholic?
Asperges.
I've done a ton of work today.
A SKELE-ton of work!
Why did the man walk into a bar?
Because he just broke up and he needs alcohol, you dummy!
I help suicidal people.
BTW verb not adjective.
Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday.
I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive.
I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.
I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"
What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.
What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.
Owo
What do you call a fat midget?
A pig.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.